Showing posts with label calling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calling. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Just Do Something (excerpt from Kevin DeYoung book of same title

Editor's Note: The following is an excerpt from Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will, by Kevin DeYoung (Moody Press).]

I grew up playing with Tinkertoys. Like most Americans over the past one hundred years, ourfamily had the classic long tube full of sticks, woodenwheels, and colored connectors. Hitting the market in 1913, Tinkertoy (now owned by Hasbro) has sold about 2.5 million construction sets per year for almost a hundred years. The impetus for Tinkertoy construction sets--which initially sold for sixty cents and were called by the less-than-catchy name "Thousand Wonder Builders"--came from Charles Pajeau and Robert Petit, who dreamed up the toy as they watched children tinkering around with pencils, sticks, and empty spools of thread.
And apparently, so do adults.
In the book After the Baby Boomers: How Twenty- and Thirty-Somethings are Shaping the Future of American Religion, Robert Wuthnow describes twenty-one to forty-five-year-olds as tinkerers. Our grandparents built. Our parents boomed. And my generation? We tinker. Of course, asWuthnow points out, tinkering is not all bad. Those who tinker know how to improvise, specialize, pull things apart, and pull people together from a thousand different places. But tinkering also means indecision, contradiction, and instability. We are seeing a generation of young people grow up (sort of ) who tinker with doctrines, tinker with churches, tinker with girlfriends and boyfriends, tinker with college majors, tinker living in and out of their parents' basement, and tinker with spiritual practices no matter how irreconcilable or divergent.
We're not consistent. We're not stable. We don't stick with anything. We aren't sure we are making the right decisions. Most of the time, we can't even make decisions. And we don't follow through. All of this means that as Christian young people we are less fruitful and less faithful than we ought to be.
Granted, youth tends to come with a significant amount of youthfulness. And with youthfulness comes indecision and instability. Young adults who tinker are not confined to any one generation. Baby boomers, and probably even builders (the generation that grew up during the Great Depression and fought in World War II), tinkered around with God and life when they were young adults. The difference, however, with my generation is that young adulthood keeps getting longer and longer. It used to be that thirty seemed old and far removed from youth, but now it is not uncommon to hear of folks "coming of age" at forty.
Consider this one statistic: In 1960, 77 percent of women and 65 percent of men completed all the major transitions into adulthood by age thirty. These transitions include leaving home, finishing school, becoming financially independent, getting married, and having a child. By 2000, only 46 percent of woman completed these transitions by age thirty, and only 31 percent of men. It's stunning for me to think that less than a third of men my age are done with school, out of the house, married with kids, and have a job that pays the bills. "Adultolescence" is the new normal.
Now, I know there are lots of good reasons why someone may still be in school past thirty. After all, multiple college degrees take time. And I realize there are legitimate reasons why a thirty-year-old might have to live with his parents (e.g., illness, unexpected unemployment, or divorce). Concerning marriage, maybe you have the gift of celibacy. And as for a family, maybe you've been trying to have kids but can't. There are lots of reasons for delayed adulthood. I understand that. Just because you've been on the planet for one-fourth to one-third of your life and still haven't completed "the transition" to adulthood doesn't mean you're automatically a moocher, a lazy bum, or a self-indulgent vagabond.
But it could mean that. It is possible that your "unparalleled freedom to roam, experiment, learn (or not), move on, and try again" has not made you wiser, cultured, or more mature. Perhaps your free spirit needs less freedom and more faithfulness. Maybe your emerging adulthood should . . . I don't know, emerge.
But let me be clear: This is not a book just for young people. I'm not going to attempt a generational analysis of my fellow thirtysomethings. I'm not issuing a new manifesto for baby busters and mosaics. This book is much simpler than all that. This is a book about God's will--God's will for confused teenagers, burned out parents, retired grandparents, and, yes, tinkering millennials . . . or whatever we're called.
The hesitancy so many of us (especially the young) feel in making decisions and settling down in life and therefore diligently searching for the will of God has at least two sources. First, the new generations enjoy--or at least think they enjoy--"unparalleled freedom." Nothing is settled after high school or even college anymore. Life is wide open and filled with endless possibilities, but with this sense of opportunity comes confusion, anxiety, and indecision. With everything I could do and everywhere I could go, how can I know what's what? Enter a passion to discern "God's will for my life." That's a key reason there is always a market for books about the will of God. I bring up this whole business of adultolescence because it is related to the spiritual issue of God's will. You'll find in this book some of the typical will-of-God fare--how to make wise decisions, how to choose a job, whom to marry, etc. But answering these questions is not really the aim of this book. My goal is not as much to tell you how to hear God's voice in making decisions as it is to help you hear God telling you to get off the long road to nowhere and finally make a decision, get a job, and, perhaps, get married.
Second, our search for the will of God has become an accomplice in the postponement of growing up, a convenient out for the young (or old) Christian floating through life without direction or purpose. Too many of us have passed off our instability, inconsistency, and endless self-exploration as "looking for God's will," as if not making up our minds and meandering through life were marks of spiritual sensitivity.
As a result, we are full of passivity and empty on follow through. We're tinkering around with everyone and everything. Instead, when it comes to our future, we should take some responsibility, make a decision, and just do something.

Robert Wuthnow. After the Baby Boomers: How Twenty- and Thirty-Somethings Are Shaping the Future of American Religion (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2007).

Ibid., 11.

The line in quotes comes from Christian Smith, "Get a Life: The Challenge of Emerging Adulthood," Books & Culture, November/December 2007, 10.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

How to Find Your Calling (And Why Most People Get This Wrong)

Excellent post found at:

Practical tips for finding your purpose.
It never fails. Every week someone asks me what the "secret" is to doing work you love, to finding your purpose. They think because I work for myself that somehow I've got it all figured out, that I set a goal and made it happen—no problems or bumps along the way.
But the truth is, finding your calling is a process full of tensions to be managed. And it's just as much about responding to the signs God is trying to reveal to you as it is about taking action.
As Christians, we're told constantly that we were created with a purpose. And it's true, you were made to do good works, born to leave a legacy. The events of your life are directly related to your understanding of this. And whether you believe it or not, you're living a story. Whether it's worth telling is up to you.
So how do you find that purpose? If you're like many people who are striving to live meaningful and intentional lives, it will come in the form of what many refer to as "a calling."
WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU'RE LIVING A STORY. WHETHER IT'S WORTH TELLING OR NOT IS UP TO YOU.

Two camps

There are two camps when it comes to this idea of calling:
1. "The need is the call." 
Look around and you'll see a world in need. Can you help those needs? Great. This camp claims that if you can see a way to help, that's your calling. If there is some good you can do, then you have a responsibility to do it.
As my dad says to cars that remain parked in an intersection after the light has turned green, "What're you looking for—an engraved invitation?!"
2. "Pursue your passion." 
Your heart knows what you were made to do, claims the second camp. You can trust your heart. Once you submit to your passion, you will begin to find your purpose.
Howard Thurman once said, "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
But unfortunately, both of these common camps are tragically flawed.
The first leads to a passionless existence, in which you only pursue things out of obligation. The second is equally dangerous, as you can aimlessly wander from one thrill-seeking adventure to the next without ever committing to anything.
The reality is we have to learn to live in the tension between what makes us come alive and what resonates with others.

A practical solution

One of the trickiest parts of finding your calling is understanding the importance of what my former boss calls your "voice." 
You might think of this as your unique contribution to the world, the things that you are especially gifted at. What can you do that nobody else can do? 
This is your voice. Finding it involves a thoughtful combination of your own skills, the world's need for those skills, and your own desire.
So how do you do this, practically? 
First, identify your core competencies. What is it that people are constantly complimenting you about? Make a list, if you need to organize your thoughts.
Second, look at the needs around you. If you're an entrepreneur, this might mean finding a market before you create your product. Or if you're called to be a missionary, maybe it means first finding the people you want to reach before spending years in training. The point is, instead of planning for the sake of having a plan, find people you can help right now and then plan around that more immediate, practical need.
Third, think about what you love doing. What really gets you excited about life? What gets your blood boiling? Make a list of the things that you do in your free time, when nobody is watching, and consider whether or not there may be something deeper to that desire.
Now, put all three of these together. Draw a Venn diagram if it helps. The intersection of your own skills, needs of the world, and what you love is a good place to start exploring your calling.
I'm not saying this is a flawless method, but it's better than most places to begin. Find a few ways to do something that meets those three fields. Try a few things out and see what happens. Is there fruit? Do you enjoy the work? Is it sustainable (i.e. can you get paid to do it?)
LIKE MANY THINGS IN LIFE, FINDING YOUR CALLING IS A PARADOX.
If the answer to all of the above questions is "yes" and you feel peace in your heart, then you're in a good place. Keep trying things and trusting the results. 

Learning to live in the tension

This isn't hocus pocus (but it sure ain't science, either). So many people wait for their calling. They complain about their lives, lamenting that God hasn't shown them the path yet. Others live agnostically, as if everything depends on them. Neither of these is particularly fulfilling.
What does seem true is that we have a choice. Not to make our lives awesome or dull, but to choose to courageously follow the path ahead of us or not. At times, it will feel like everything is riding on you, but it's not. At others, it will feel as if you don't have to do any work and can just submit to the process; that is also not true.
Like many things in life, finding your calling is a paradox. It's a mixture of need, passion, and skill—you can embrace this or ignore it. Good luck.